5 Steps To Connect With Your True Self
The first leap towards positive change is being really clear about who you are and what you believe to be true.
One of the biggest problems people have with their personal identity is they deny the parts they don’t like and adapt their behaviour to what they believe society expects from them, furthering to disconnect from what truly makes them happy.
We’ve all done it to some extent, but there becomes a point in life where to fully connect to peace, fulfilment, purpose, freedom, and joy, we have to look inwards.
We live busy, fast-paced lives, always doing something, achieving and accomplishing, overworking, stressing, worrying, and living in our heads, and very seldom slowing down, being present, and reconnecting with what we actually want from life.
Psychologists have told us that by the time we are in our mid-30s, our identity and personality are completely formed. Meaning that we have memorised a select set of behaviours, attitudes, beliefs, emotional reactions, habits, skills, associative memories, conditioned responses, and perceptions that are now subconsciously programmed within us.
These programmes are running us and the body has become the mind.
We often try to keep up with the expectations put upon us and the ever-increasing commitments of work, family life, and socialising. It is little wonder that the modern woman has lost who she really is and what she really wants – for herself.
The goals we set or how we define our success is less often based on our identity and what we believe is possible, but more on our society as this is what we know to be safe; not happy. We take goals that belong to those around us and not what we feel will truly make us happy.
We live our lives reactively and not consciously or mindfully.
With this said, when you’re asked to live your true and authentic self, it can be quite a challenge to get beneath the surface and understand who and what that is exactly. I like to take a different approach with my clients and have them really ‘feel’ and immerse themselves into this version - worts and all.
The below 5 steps are the exact steps I use to help my clients really ‘tap’ into their potential of being ‘themselves’.
Step 1: Respecting yourself – remember that you have your own journey and your own unique value. The job you do and the life you’re living don’t define you as a person.
Ask yourself:
Can you acknowledge and appreciate things about yourself outside of your achievements?
Are you motivated by self-love or self-hate?
What would you do if you had more time?
What does fun look like to you?
Are there any activities you do when you lose track of time and can be fully present?
How often are you doing them?
Step 2: Your path to growth and your vision - we’ve all experienced how unfulfilling staying static in life can be. However, by believing (and remember the power of belief) that change is always possible and that you’re not willing to just ‘accept’ things as they are, you will naturally start moving towards your goals and momentum will build.
Ask yourself, and get really clear:
What are your five biggest life and health goals?
What three things in your life would you change (be specific)?
If you couldn't fail, where would you like to see yourself in 6 months to a year (think big)?
Step 3: Embracing the change – I believe the more you expose yourself to risk, the stronger the foundation for self-growth becomes.
Ask yourself:
Remember that vision you created in the previous step. When you achieve this future vision, what is your experience of life?
What do you hear, see and feel?
Step 4: Valuing yourself – by valuing your whole self, a greater sense of fulfilment will be achieved. Our values are made up of our internal representation of the world and our core beliefs.
Ask yourself:
How do you spend the first 60 minutes of your day (be specific)?
What do you often find yourself saying to yourself?
Do you talk to yourself positively or negatively?
What do you really believe about yourself?
Step 5: Truth moves you forward – I believe that secrets keep you sick and honesty creates authenticity and enlightenment. Speaking your truth even when it’s hard helps create a clear space to progress forward.
What emotional state are you living in?
What questions would you ask yourself?
What are the 3 things you have never told anyone about yourself?
What have you discovered?
Once you feel you have created and immersed yourself into this new way of being, it’s always great to sit with this freedom and connect with your love and appreciation for ‘the self’. Keeping boundaries in places (or setting if this is new to you), will help you feel aligned to you and life will begin to feel less like an uphill struggle and far more inflow.
My clients are often those who have lost their identity or feel like they are heading down a path they weren’t destined to be on and are seeking safe and trusted advice to break the mould and rediscover what they truly want in life.
